Thursday 4 September 2014

Chapter 22: Bad Things in Pretty Packages

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Ahhh, adorable toddlers alert. These little sugarplums are Micah and Ashleigh Heart- heirs to the Heart family, err, fortune. Okay that's a lie, but whilst I can't promise them wealth I can offer them a life of chaos, glitches, failed relationships, and insanity. Yeyyy...


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I don't think the cousins need much help on my part with the whole insanity thing though- Ashleigh seems to already have being a mad cow all squared away.


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Micah on the hand is a fussy little miss. I think I've seen her smile like... once? I think it was a Wednesday.


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To be honest though I can't help but love her, even if she is a finicky wench. She's the first blonde of my legacy and I think that melts my heart a little. That and the freckles.


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Her daddy Castiel is definitely awfully taken with her.


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Despite their sometimes troublesome nature, Micah and Ashleigh had a lovely upbringing where their every whim was attended to and they were well-loved. Aww. I can just tell I'm breeding egotists.


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Soon enough it was time for the birthdays of Micah and her older half-sister Falon.


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And, in a testament to how much of a pain in the arse she's been, Micah didn't even wait for me to get her to the bloody cake- instead she chose to age up on the floor.


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Oh, you may look at me like butter wouldn't melt now, but I've seen your soul. Oh yes.


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Not long after, Falon aged up in an altogether more vampish way.


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*cowers in a corner*

Tell me when she's gone 'kay?


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Holy testicle Tuesday look at that- it's Micah BEING NICE. This can't be right- maybe my eyes could do with a good clean?


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Ah you see- told you. It must have been a mirage before- there's no way my Micah could have been smiling and being friendly; I'm pretty sure there's no snowboarding in hell yet.


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You know a big part of the reason why Micah's so moody has to be her downright rotten character traits. She's both Snobby and Grumpy (not Happy and Sneezy) so she's constantly in a pissy mood.

Take this lovely exchange for example. Now, Falon's Evil so naturally she decided to be mean to Micah one day and patronise her. It did not go down well... Normally when I see this interaction happen the kid just smiles and nods, but not Micah...


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She was fucking livid, and she had no problem letting Falon know how she felt.


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Oh, but as if that would be the end of it. Pah! Micah continued to torment Falon for the rest of the day (completely unprovoked by me, might I add).


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In the end Falon had enough and wished to move out, and I obliged.


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Boy was Micah mad when she realised she didn't have anyone to torment anymore...


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The following day it was Ashleigh's turn to age up, and call me foolish but I was hoping for sweetness here.


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Hey that's not bad- she looks pretty angelic so far.


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Having Ashleigh in the same age group actually worked wonders for Micah's temperament. The cousins had built up a strong friendship when they were toddlers- probably through time spent at the playtable or summat- and the friendship carried over into their childhood.


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Micah's smiling, Micah's smiling....

Ssshh don't stare- you might scare it away.


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Oh piss flaps, I knew it was too good to be true. In time Ashleigh's Evil side just couldn't suppress itself anymore and she began to act out.


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And she wasn't the only one getting pissy (but that's no fucking shocker is it?) Considering Micah is the centre of her own universe she doesn't really like other people being around, getting in her light and what not, so she always gets really mad at me when the house is too crowded...


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...And she starts running around booing everyone.


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Alright alright, I get it!


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To appease the demon within I tried my best to honour all of Micah's wishes- one of which was getting a portrait of herself done.


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I think her uncle Gabriel did a great job, though it's no surprise that fussy knickers wasn't entirely happy with it.

Crazy bint- who doesn't want a picture of themselves where they look like they've been Tangoed?


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Let's leave aside the kiddies for a moment now as we pay a visit to, what I like to call, The Crazy Basement of Shame.

Now you may remember last time around Micah's mom Piper had a bit of a problem with ghosts- namely that she couldn't stop fainting whenever she saw them. This terrible affliction didn't extend to one ghost however, cause apparently she was just fine with being in Devon's company. She even let him suck her marrow- I had no idea NPC ghost-vamps could do that.


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Oh yeah... ah-ha *nervous laugh*

The ghost of Devon is an oft-times pervy and inappropriate one, meaning he likes to mack on unsuspecting femmes every so often. Last time around he felt Piper up whilst she was pregnant, and now he's back for seconds.


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All this flirty basement action let to a very bad idea.


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The next day it was time for Micah's birthday which all the family happily celebrated (except for Gabriel, who was being a bit of a grouch).


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Micah blew out her birthday candles, no doubt wishing for fame and fortune and beauty and failing that a good cosmetic surgeon.


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Then it was sparkly sparkle time.


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Err, I'd cancel that surgery wish...


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Following the marvellous coming of age ceremony I made-over Paiden's old room to create a beautiful bedroom for Micah. But was she happy about it?


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Was she buggery.


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She did really enjoy the vast amount of mirrors I'd installed for her though.


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And the snazzy car.


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The next day it was Ashleigh's birthday as well, and Micah was nice enough to celebrate with her.


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Joyous sparkles were witnessed.


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And Ashleigh Rose Heart turned into this specimen. Wow-wah-whee-wah.


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Meanwhile, downstairs in The Crazy Basement of Shame, my very bad idea was coming to fruition.


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Both parentals seemed pretty pleased about matter though. The only question was what the other members of the household would think.


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Turns out they couldn't give a fig.


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When she became a teenager Micah had gained the Star Quality trait- meaning she was destined for a life of celebrity, at least if she had it her way. The only obstacle standing in the way of this was the fact that Micah's also a meanie, and I reckoned it'd be really hard for her to make friends. So, to give her a little leg-up in that department, I had Micah work on improving her charisma skill.


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Elsewhere, Ashleigh had more simplistic pursuits in mind. Upon her transition she'd gained the Athletic trait so all she was really bothered about was improving her skill.


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But skilling wasn't the only thing on the girls' minds. In the evenings they'd often head out to a local bar or club and sneak their way in.


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What often followed was a night of dancing, drinking...


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...And getting arrested by the cops.


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As Micah's charisma skill (very slowly) grew she began to spend a lot of time out in the neighbourhood socialising. If she was to be a successful celeb she'd have to network and make friends, but as I'd predicted it wasn't easy...


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Every fricking time Micah would start a conversation by talking about herself and how completely awesome she was, and every time the person she was talking to would roll their eyes in disapproval of her snobbishness.


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And then she'd get mad.


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Really mad.

It's safe to say, Micah made zero friends on her expeditions out.


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Whilst Micah was out getting blacklisted for her bratty behaviour, back at home her mother Piper was experiencing the pangy pain of childbirth.


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Wheeeeeeee, ghost baby! This here is a little boy called Kain.


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In my game the baby stage only lasts a day, so soon enough it was time for Kain to age up into a toddler.


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It's hard to tell what he looks like really, but still- ghosty toddlers are generally quite sweet.


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Ashleigh definitely thought the little boy was something special, and despite her Evil nature she began to spend a lot of time taking care of him.


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She even went so far as to teach him how to walk and talk, which is handy because apparently Kain's parents just couldn't be bothered.


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No, they were too busy acting like lusty teenagers...


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Is this domestic bliss? I think so.


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Back to the world of hopeful celebritydom now as we witness Micah being refused entry to a club, the poor dear. Unfortunately for Micah this happened a lot, and there was only so much money available for bribes.


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But don't feel to bad for the girl, because eventually she made a friend! It took a lot of suppressing of Micah's natural charms (i.e.- me clicking off her Mean interactions all day long) but in time Micah had a best buddy at last, yay. His name is Sky Sindel by the by.


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Meanwhile, Ashleigh had also made a new friend, and then some. This here is Adrian Valentine- I believe he's from a different part of the same family tree as Raoul, Paiden's first husband.


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Adrian and Ashleigh became friends through school, and after a little bit of after-hours bonding became an item too.


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Not that it stopped Adrian checking out Micah's assets though...


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You know it didn't surprise me when Micah rolled the want to kiss her cousin's boyfriend- this thing tends to happen a lot in my legacy. What did surprise me though was the fact that Adrian turned her down. Good on you faithful boy!


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And that wasn't the only knockback Micah received that day. I felt a bit bad for Micah, but she did keep trying to touch up guys who were already taken so I wasn't particularly shocked when they kept saying no.


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At the end of every day full of failure, Micah would just resign herself to spending some time with her best friend as she lamented another rejection.


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There there- hotdogs make it all better.


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A litany of birthdays now as we first witness Kain age into a child.


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He gained the Slob trait, which is one I've never used before. Apparently it involves a lot of plate-licking.


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A few days later it was time for Piper to age up too.


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Hur hur, olde person.


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And the next day it was the turn of Castiel...


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...And Gabriel.


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Following his becoming an old man Castiel chose to retire from the Investigator career, and a very strange thing happened... As soon as he'd hung up the phone Adrian and Ashleigh inexplicably got out some placards and began, I don't know, calling him a yeti or something?


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It really was very bizarre, and it kind of seemed like they were taking the piss a little as they mocked him with their chanting.


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But, as cruel as it may be, in spite of myself I just couldn't help laughing. They followed Castiel around for ages; it was practically bullying.


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Teeheehee. Sorry Cas, there's nothing I can do to help... Honest.

*shifty eyes*


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Outside in the garden, uncle/niece relations weren't faring any better as Micah tormented Gabriel for no apparent reason.


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I think the only people who actually get on in the house are Kain and Devon.


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Birthday time everyone! After an eventful teenagehood it was finally time for Micah to age up into a responsible Young Adult... Okay, I'm clutching at straws now- I know she's going to be a terror.


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So, let us proceed with some sparkles.


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Aww, she looks quite sweet doesn't she?


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My mistake, she's fucking complaining already. Jeez, I'm gonna have my work cut out with this one...

Join us next time won't ya?

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